Because it’s halfway through the season, yes, but also because for once, Stefan broke up with Elena, and I can’t wait to see how absolutely zero consequences there are for that. Let’s go!
Oh, the recap tells me that Damon actually mentioned someone was covering up Logan’s death. I missed it because like 90% of this show’s dialogue is pointless or repetitive, so remember that as a writing tip, kids! If you bore your audience with mostly nonsense, they won’t get the details they need for future plots to make sense.
We start where we left off: Logan on Jenna’s doorstep. She’s mad, he says he was out of town, she says she knows, she got his stupid email. Logan is surprised by the email, so someone was covering something up. Jenna doesn’t let him in, though, and he goes on to eat a jogger on the street. These vamps have just no concept of self-preservation, do they? Weirdest monsters ever, damn.
Jeremy is reading his dad’s diary and learning about the vamps. It’s a standard TV journal: leather-bound, no lines, plenty of weird little sketches to go along with the narrative. I have never seen a journal like this in my life, so maybe that’s how we know this is all a simulation, when our diaries become screen-ready.
Damon and Stefan are discussing where they’re headed, because they “can’t stay here”, even though that’s obviously what’s going to happen for seven more seasons, when Sheriff shows up. She wants to talk to Damon about another vamp attack, Logan’s attack. Damon keeps up the pretense that he’s an upstanding member of the founding families and Stefan listens from inside. Sheriff wants Damon to be in charge of hunting it, because he’s the only one who’s ever killed a vampire before.
Matt and Caroline are flirting and Bonnie and Elena approve. They talk about Damon attacking Bonn and Stefan leaving Elena.
Stefan can’t leave now that there’s another vampire in town, obviously!!!!!! How dare Damon think he’s going to keep his plans to leave? I dunno, Stef, maybe y’all should just bail, leave these people to the hell they keep making for themselves.
Stefan immediately goes to tell Elena about it, while Matt justifies hanging out with Caroline to his friends. I don’t understand why these scenes are cut together, but they are, so.
Oh, holdup, the journal isn’t Jeremy’s dad’s, it’s from the 1800s. First gen vamp hunting. The dude is related to them, but was a horror writer. Easy way to keep the truth on the down-low. Good reason to kill the novelists. (no but fr, you’ll get so many more jokes if you read my books.)
Caro follows the compass for Damon, who takes it from her at what looks like a random commercial building and then mojos her to forget he asked the favor and go home. He can’t just use it, because he interferes with the signal, obviously, but I’m wondering if vamps have some sort of extra magnetic signature? What is the compass picking up on? How does it point to a vamp? I mean, yes, hand-wavy magic, obviously, but…. I dunno, I like puzzles. Extra iron from all that blood?
Damon walks in and Logan shoots the shit out of him, six shots, all over the body. They’re wooden bullets, too! Nice. Logan knows it all, obviously. He woke up in the ground behind a car dealership, no idea who made him. Logan assumes it’s Damon, but no: Damon only bit him. Someone fed him, and now he can’t even get into his own home because he has to be invited in? To his house?! That’s bullshit, man, nobody’s magic works that way, it’s ridiculous. He’s been living at a motel and eating people, who are now stacked up like cordwood in his warehouse.
Cut to the school’s college fair, where we meet the true horror: Military recruiters.
Just a cover for Sheriff and Mayor to talk about vampires. And for us to get point-three seconds with a bunch of other characters. Tyler makes art (I thought he was dead?). Matt wanted to be an astronaut once. Stefan stares longingly at Elena and we’re back to the warehouse for lore convos.
Logan lets it slip that the rings and the daywalking aren’t “in the journals”. Damon refuses to answer any more questions, because he suspects Logan was turned by one of the hunters, or a vamp working for the hunters, and he’s not going to give anything else away. Logan refuses his questions and shoots him some more before leaving.
To go to the college fair? Time has zero meaning in this show, and while it was full daylight when Elena and Stefan started talking about their latest breakup, it is now fully 8 PM by the clock in the hall, and fully dark outside.
Have I told y’all the story about how I have a novel almost fully finished, except that I fucked up the timeline and put like, seven weeks of story into four weeks of book time? Yeah, I’ve been thinking I have to fix that before I publish but, like, CLEARLY I should stop giving a shit and just rake in the dollar dollar bills, y’all.
Elena takes Jenna away and Logan starts in on Stefan about daywalking. Logan threatens Stefan with exposure; Stefan is hard as stone. Logan’s getting nothing, and he’ll thank Stefan for it.
Elena asks Jenna how Logan acted when he came to the house, because she’s thinking vampire. Jenna says he was very insistent on being invited in, and Elena tells Jenna never to even speak to him again. Stefan calls Damon, who relays his meeting with Logan and tells Stefan he’s feeling vengeful. Stefan says Logan is at the school, so Damon hangs up, saying he’ll see Stefan momentarily.
Caroline tells her mother she wants to go into broadcast journalism. Sheriff says, “But you don’t even read the paper”, and when Logan shows up a second later, I’m fully rooting for him to kill her. What a bitch. Be nice to your kid, lady, or someone will cheer for your death. She immediately draws her gun, but then puts it away, because what does she think she’s going to do? Kill Logan? Bury him in another shallow grave? Logan has guessed correctly that she covered up his death, and she shows him she has zero compunction marking him as the enemy now. He threatens her; she calls for backup.
Jeremy tries to talk to Tyler about art. Ends in a fight. Mayor drags them off to talk, to which Alaric seems to have some objection? Yeah, that guy’s a vamp. Or some sort of overlord of hunters or something. He knows who’s involved, seems like.
Logan offers Caroline a ride home, and she accepts, because why wouldn’t she? Especially with an interest in journalism. But of course, he knocks her out basically as soon as she’s in her seat. Good thing some kids saw her get into his car. I hope.
Matt tells Elena that Caro got in Logan’s car basically immediately. Stefan goes after her.
Mayor tells Tyler and Jeremy to fight, like real men, but Tyler doesn’t want to and they’re soon interrupted by Alaric, who calls Mayor “an alpha-male douchebag” and says if Mayor keeps pushing, it’ll end up with the two grown men in a fight. Mayor takes Tyler and walks off, telling Alaric “you’ve marked yourself”, whatever the fuck that means.
Logan calls Sheriff from the car: he’s going to turn Caro. Stefan pulls him out of the car, and Damon shoots him on the street. Stefan takes Caro, Damon tells Sheriff they’re on Elm Street and Caroline is fine. Logan gets his life by telling Damon there’s another way to break the spell on the crypt beneath the old church. He hits Damon as Sheriff drives up, then escapes, and Damon apologizes to Sheriff because he “wasn’t strong enough” to stop Logan.
Stefan goes back to the school instead of either staying with Caroline or helping Damon, which is certainly A Choice.
Jeremy talks to Tyler again, trying to connect with him over his terrible father, but Tyler wants none of it, of course.
Stefan and Elena drama.
Elena says she loves him. They both look so constipated, I’ll assume they’re sad, or something, but they still have sex.
Alaric shows up at Logan’s weird warehouse, saying he’s a friend of Jenna’s, she deserves the best, she’s going to get it. Logan tries to get him to fight, but Rick says he’s not a violent man “by design”. Logan vamps out, thinking he’ll kill Rick, but no such luck: Alaric has a stake at the ready, and boom, no more Logan. Maybe.
Matt tells Tyler he likes Caroline, and he’s not going to apologize for it.
Sheriff tenderly strokes Caroline’s hair, then gets a call and leaves.
Elena and Stefan have after chatter and cuddles. Apparently the sex was good, not bloody. Elena snoops, obviously, and finds out she’s a dead ringer for Catherine and immediately freaks out.
Sheriff thinks Damon killed Logan, but Damon is at the church ruins when she calls to thank him. “This town owes you so much.”
Elena leaves Stefan’s, drives way too fucking fast, hits someone standing in the road and flips the car. She seems mostly okay – except that the person she hit’s bones all immediately knit together and they come after her.
Luckily, we don’t have to wait for the holidays to be over before we come back from mid season break! I’ll see y’all next week to find out who the fuck is coming after Elena now!
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