SGRoA: Vampire Diaries, S01 E20: Blood Brothers

I wonder how Derek here would eugoogalize the Salvatore brothers. Bet it would be incredible. Let’s get started!

The recap is mostly about Katharine, so we have that to look forward to, I guess. Stefan wakes up in the dungeon, after Elena tranqed him in the last ep. He has a flashback to the rounding up of vampires for the raveyard. The compass is involved, and muzzles for vamps, and he and Damon distract the humans and free Katharine from the vampy wagon they put her in. She’s drugged, maybe? with her hair down and her titties out, and Damon gets shot while trying to untie her, and he’s… dead? And then Stefan gets shot, too, and the three of them are lying around, saying each others’ names and groaning, and Elena and Damon are there in the present, but Stefan can’t slough off the memory. He’s left bleeding on the ground, and Katharine is dragged away in the vampy wagon.

In the present, Elena laments to Damon that she doesn’t like to see Stefan like this, but Damon is impatient: she made Stefan “like this”. Stefan is coming to in the cell, and now actively choosing Flashback Time.

He wakes up the next day, wounds healed, ring on, tended by Bonnie’s ancestor witch. She and her brother found Stefan dead on the road, and brought him out to the quarry. He is in a shelter, but also, Pre-Bonnie tells him that Katharine had her make him a ring weeks ago. Damon’s right there. He’s not yet a vampire: he had Katharine’s blood in his system because she’s been compelling him to drink from her for weeks. He’s in transition; so is Damon, who drank more willingly.

Stefan goes to talk to Damon. Damon woke up in the woods, had no idea where to go, what to do, so he went to the church. He saw them drag Katharine inside, saw them light it up. Katharine is dead.

In the present, Elena is… it looks like folding laundry, but I’m sure that can’t be right, can it? She’s just here so much she does laundry now? I mean, it’s definitely her jeans, so she’s not doing the boys’ laundry, thank god. That would get such a rant, y’all - would believe it, actually, especially if you were around for my Moonlight recaps. (Which is on Tubi now, if you want to watch the episodes and then see why I hated them.)

ANYWAY, Elena is folding laundry and Damon’s looking at the not-compass, not-watch that Pearl stole from OG John Gilbert. Elena asks if he figured it out; he hasn’t. Has she talked to Uncle John lately? No, she’s been avoiding him. And she’s been here - at the Salvatores’ - most nights. Oh, she was packing her bag! Damon asks if she’ll be back tonight, she asks if that’s a problem, he sarcastically says yes, and she takes off, saying she’ll see him later. Damon looks schemey, can’t be any more precise, but I hope he has some sort of plan for Uncle John. I hate that guy.

Jeremy meets Anna at school. It is full sunlight. She does have like nine rings on, so I can’t tell if any of them is magic, maybe she got one from Pre-Bonnie back in the day. (And yes, I know Pre-Bonnie has a name, but I don’t remember it, and I’m not going looking, sorry.) Anyway, she’s enrolled in school.

Damon brings Stefan some breakfast - “100% Stefan diet approved”, he says. It’s in a water bottle.

it would kill them to have a little style?

Stefan insists he’s not hungry. Ultimately, Damon tells him to starve, what does he care? and I’m with Damon on this one. Stefan is going through more nonsense male-vamp angst just for the sake of the trope. FOH with that shit, I’m not in the mood.

Alaric calls Damon, who’s annoyed Ric got his number. Ric has been investigating Uncle John through a criminologist he knows from college. John was getting calls from the number Elena used to get Isobel, and then obviously those calls stopped, but a new number started, and it’s registered to a nearby town. Damon asks for the address; Ric says Damon’s not going without him. Elena calls on the other line to tell Damon she’ll be back to the house in like 20 minutes, and Damon clicks back over to Ric to tell him to pick Damon up in an hour. Not interested in staying for the Stefan guilt pageant? Yeah, me neither.

Damon warns Elena that Stefan won’t eat, so Elena asks what his favorite “food” is. Damon tells her “golden retriever puppies, with the floppy ears?” so she hangs up on him. All this ribbing is mostly good-natured, though. I like it when Elena and Damon get along, makes me happy. Makes Elena almost interesting as a character, too!

Elena turns to leave and almost bodily runs into a lurking Uncle John. He wants to talk, to catch up! Barely got to see you! Elena says she’s heading out, and he says it won’t take long in a tone that brooks no refusal. So she stays. He says he knows she knows, and she tries to play it off, but he says to stop it. “What would your mother say if she knew you were dating a vampire?”

Elena resettles her bag, then says, “Which mother?” and heads out.

Stefan is remembering again, which is much more interesting than watching him brood. He assumes that OG John would have told their father by now, and Damon assures him their father won’t care. He betrayed them. But Stefan has more grace: their father was protecting the town, thought he was protecting them, too.

Damon says the sun hurts his eyes, and yeah, dude, I’m constantly amazed at how long it took humans to invent sunglasses, my guy. Oh, but no, that’s just part of it, so I guess I come by my “vampires are a metaphor for autistics trying to understand humanity” shtick honestly, at least. The incredibly bright, directly-in-his-eyes when he says it sun is just “part of it”, part of the turning, like the muscle aches and the sick feeling. EMILY! That’s Pre-Bonnie! Emily says it’s their bodies driving them to feed.

Damon says he’s not going to, he’d rather die. This was all to be with Katharine, after all, and she’s dead. He’d like to be, too.

In the present, Elena urges Stefan to eat. He says he won’t; he doesn’t want to survive. He wants to end it.

Damon insists Stefan is just being a dramatic martyr, and it will pass. Elena says he seemed like he was in a lot of pain, and Damon says he’ll get over it. When he eats. And he tells her to stay upstairs while he’s gone on his errand with Ric, that she’s too cavalier about Stefan. She points out that so is he: he’s leaving her alone, after all. Damon just responds that he won’t be long.

Pearl meets Uncle John at The Grill to discuss the sale of her building back to her, and she says she has no intention of giving John the device she stole from the OG. He tells her that she’s not going to get the building, he is going to get the invention, and that’s why he had to meet her: to turn on the John Gilbert charm, to which he knows she’s not immune. So can he buy her a drink?

Cut to Jeremy and Anna, and Jeremy is summing up: Pearl was in love with OG John Gilbert, and he betrayed her. Oh, snap. And Uncle John wants the device. Anna says she shouldn’t have told him everything, she’ll probably get in trouble, and they should make out instead.

So they do, and it’s on-camera, and we’re lingering over abs and shit, and ew.

sexy teens make me feel bad

Thank god, we join Ric and Damon at the nearby address of maybe Isobel. It’s an apartment, and Damon fills Ric in: he has to be invited in by the homeowner or “person of entitlement”, which I assume covers renters who live there but aren’t owners. He says that short-term rentals and hotels are a grey area, he has to play by ear. He jimmies the lock and can enter, so no permanent resident, apparently.

They give the place a cursory search. Damon finds a bunch of bloodbags in the fridge and tells Ric they’re not alone just as someone hits Ric. Damon breaks up the fledgling fight and recognizes Henry, one of the raveyard vamps. He seems pleased but confused to see Damon.

Back at Depression Ranch, Elena is moping and Stefan is remembering. The way it’s put together, tho, makes it seem Elena’s remembering Stefan being an almost-vampire. Crazy, I didn’t know you could tap into your partner’s memories if the Power of Love (tm) is strong enough! I must not love my husband, y’all. Don’t tell him.

Sure enough, Stefan can hear OG and his dad talking, even though Stefan is still in the yard. (Although, as loud as some people’s voices are? I have definitely heard my neighbors talking [screaming] at their kids in my house, windows closed.) OG is making sure the records are accurate, and Salvatore insists that some details are to be kept secret. Namely, that his kids were vampires.

In the present, Stefan threatens Elena, but not really, and tells her he hates her and he wants her to go. He vamps out and yells at her when she comes into the cell with him. He won’t eat her, they both know it, and of course he doesn’t. Yawn.

Back at Henry’s apartment, he’s heating up blood and chatting. He met John after the spell was lifted on the raveyard, and John got him the place and is helping him learn what he needs to about the current century. (Make sure he explains the Titanic to you, Henry. Oh, and hippies!) (Read my books you’ll get more jokes!)

Henry is the bro-iest, jock-iest vampire I’ve ever seen. Dude looks like he’s about to introduce a skateboarder on MTV Sports, and yes, I am aware that that probably didn’t exist anymore even at the time, but give me a break, I’m very old. He’s just - so - Californian, somehow, so tan and healthy and smiling and spiky-haired. His face absolutely looks like he knows what cellphones are, and always has, because he was born in 1990.

ANYWAY. They ask if he knows Isobel, and nope. But he does keep an eye on the other raveyard vamps for John. You know, because they all, like, want revenge? Well, what is John doing with them? asks Ric. Nothing. Just keeping an eye on them.

Henry’s cell rings, and speak of the devil! Damon asks if he can talk to him, really playing up the “old friends” angle that’s seen Henry be charming and defenseless all evening. Henry laughs, and says sure! and hands over the phone. Good joke! But - then Damon doesn’t answer the phone. The mood instantly changes, and Henry goes for Ric. Damon pulls him off, and then Ric stakes him and kills him - because he goes grey!!!!!!! I see! Good of the writers to give us that little tidbit 20 episodes in, but okay! We get it now! Dead vamp=grey vamp; live vamp=pink vamp.

Damon claps Ric on the shoulder and quotes: “Let’s not kill anyone tonight. Your words.”

Damon’s my favorite!

Pearl asks John why she should give him the device. (Which she does not have, remember: Damon does.) He says the Council eats out of his hand, and he can help her to live the quiet, white-picket-fence life she really wants. The device doesn’t even work, though; why does he want it? It’s an heirloom! John claims OG wrote about Pearl, that he was regretful till he died that he betrayed her. Pearl says he’s lying, but he lays it on thick - and then laughs at her when she softens, almost imperceptibly, to the idea.

“John Gilbert hated you. His one regret was that he didn’t stake you himself!” And John laughs, apparently thinking that he’ll always be wearing a stupid ugly ring and that no one in this town would kill him just for the fun of it, let alone because they’re vampires.

Pearl stands up, grabs her bag and coat, and says, “I gave it to Damon.” John’s smile is instantly gone. She tells him to ask Damon for it and then rot in hell.

Elena tells Stefan to get down off the cross, someone needs the wood.

Ha, no, of course not. She asks why he’s doing this, and he says that he shouldn’t have made the choice to drink blood, it was a mistake. He flashes back, and goes to talk to his father. Dad lets slip that he was there when Stefan and Damon were shot, and Stefan is confused and sad. He says he’s not a vampire yet, he won’t become one, he just wanted to say goodbye, and his father tries to stake him. I mean, I am a fan of a moral throughline, but it would have been smarter to listen to your child, because now you’re bleeding on the floor and Stefan’s going to eat you.

In the present, Elena offers Stefan his ring back and therapy. Well, I mean, to talk about all this shit. He wonders how she can even look at him! and like, Stefan, STFU. Talk about your trauma, get it out of you, learn some better coping skills. You’re dead, not incapable of learning.

Damon and Ric search Henry’s place. Nothing there, nothing about Isobel or anything of consequence. A beer in the fridge, though, which Ric gratefully cracks. He says he should give up, he can’t spend his life looking for her. After only 2 years? says Damon, and admits that he’ll give up on Katharine probably around the 200 year mark. Cracking open a boy with the cold ones.

They talk about Isobel - well, Ric says a little, Damon says a little, and Ric asks him to stop. He’s done looking for answers he doesn’t really want. He’s done with all of this.

And he gets up and leaves.

Anna comes home to a Pearl who tells her to pack, they’re leaving. They have to move on. Anna of course doesn’t want to go, and frankly, after 150 years, Anna can’t just do what she wants? She’s way, way, WAY more than an adult, my god.

Damon and Elena catch each other up, and Elena points out that Damon has made Stefan feel guilty for losing Katharine for the last century and a half. He has to take some accountability for that!

Damon gets upset. Has Stefan ever told her the whole story? No, she says, and you should! So he does!

go VD writers!

Flashback Time! So after eating their dad, Stefan mojos some random woman and brings her to Damon as a gift. He wants Damon to eat her, Katharine was right, this is so fucking awesome, and they can turn off their emotions! No guilt!

First of all, I can also turn off my emotions, you’re not special. (Okay, they’re kind of always off? and people say it’s not great? but I think I get a lot done, and I’m not being weird, so I’ll keep the alexithymia, okay?) Secondly, can you only do it if you’re eating people on the regs? And how do you fit 6 litres or whatever it is of blood in the human body into your body? Like, how is exsanguinating a person even possible? So you could just bite people, and not actually eat them, so there would be no guilt in the first place, yes?

Anyway, back from my lore tangent. Stefan bites the girl just enough so Damon can smell it. Even so, he has to force Damon to get close enough. So everyone in this story is horrible, good to know!

Elena goes to get Stefan, but he’s left the cell, and left his ring behind. Well, he did say he wanted to die.

Last 10 minutes! Anna goes to see Jeremy, but he’s asleep, so she kisses him and leaves again. Don’t know if that means she’s staying or going, we’ll all be surprised together!

Stefan is in the woods, by a waterfall - oh, the quarry. Remembering again, that Damon said he would make this an eternity of misery for Stefan. Remembering Emily finding him changed, telling him this is a curse, not a gift, because even now, Stefan’s heart is pure.

Elena finds him, tells him that Damon told her the whole story. Stefan says he and Damon should have died that night, and Elena counters that he didn’t, and if he dies now, it doesn’t change anything. She had blown off family night the night her parents died; she went to a party and got stranded and needed a ride, and that’s why they were out on the bridge that night. Actions set things in motion, but they are not then always our fault.

Stefan just wants the pain to stop, and giving into the blood will give that to him, and he’s tired, and he regrets everyone he’s hurt, and blah blah blah.

Yeah, he puts his ring back on, duh.

Harper is helping Pearl pack, and he’s coming with her. He says this was never his home, he’d rather stay with her. Too bad she gets staked trying to put bags in the car.

Stefan and Elena come home so Damon and Stefan can have it out. Damon is snide about it, of course, and tells Stefan that he’s not allowed to feel Damon’s guilt. It’s his. Paws off.

Emily waited to tell Damon that the spell on Katharine had worked. Stefan says because Emily thought it was a curse, and didn’t want them to turn - she especially wouldn’t have told Damon something that would have made his decision for him. Stefan asks why Damon didn’t tell him about the spell working, about Katharine being alive.

“Because I didn’t want you to know. Because I hated you and still do. … But not because you forced me to turn. … Because it was only supposed to be me.”

Anna makes it home to find Pearl and Harper staked and dead.

John Gilbert calls Sheriff with an update about the vampires - from his car, parked around the corner from Pearl’s, where he’s just stashed his crossbow.

Ric is drinking at The Grill when Isobel pops in to say hello.

See ya next week! Loving all this plot movement. Not looking forward to season 2, when I’m sure we’ll grind to a halt again.