SGRoA: Moonlight S1 E8: 12:04 AM

Hey, all you cool cats and Snowflakes! Welcome back to Thursday, Moonlight, and my continuing regret about ever liking this show. Nah, that's too harsh. Just because something isn't as lovable as Forever Knight or Grey's Anatomy doesn't mean it isn't worth a recap, and I should really try to be kinder.

Mick's been shot, and he's taking the bullet out of his forearm. And my resolution to be nicer to this show is already out the window, because he says that unless it's silver buckshot - already a ridiculous idea, the softness of silver, this one is just too much so I'll ignore it - A VAMPIRE CAN JUST LEAVE A BULLET INSIDE THEMSELVES. Not "we don't do surgery because our bodies, during healing, expel them". Not "our bodies, during healing, break them down and filter their components out". Not "a lot of people have bullets inside them even now, when surgery isn't immediately called for". No. You wanna know why he has to slice his arm open and dig around?

BECAUSE BULLETS WILL MAKE METAL DETECTORS GO OFF.

Also, the inside of his arm looks like it's filled with misshapen rubber pellets, not actual, like, body-stuff, so the SFX team gets a special shout-out today! So he takes the bullet out and then of course his arm heals right up. Interesting that the wound stayed open until he decided he was done, but I'm sure that's part of the lore, too.

Beth is reporting on the execution of a cult leader who was convicted of murder. Buzzwire is still the worst website I've ever seen, and I am 43, so I'll let you figure out how many websites that is. Donovan Shepherd was scheduled to be executed at midnight to avoid death-penalty protestors, and not because, you know, that's how it's usually scheduled? And it didn't work, anyway; his "family", aka cult members, are outside with signs anyway.

He ended up in jail because of the testimony of Audrey Pell, who was 10 when she hid in a closet and saw Shepherd murder six people. She's there to watch the execution, because she wants to make sure he's dead. Understandable. I mean, I completely disagree, but I get where she's coming from.

Donovan Shepherd is a Lestat-looking motherfucker, which is appropriate, because from the box description I know he's supposed to be a vamp, which - how has he survived prison? They bring him into the little execution room, and he looks right at Audrey, who remembers watching the murders, when he also looked right at her - so clearly he planned some part of this, right? Make it look like he's a Messiah, by rising from the dead? Neat trick; I'm surprised more vamps haven't tried to work the system like that.

For some reason, Beth brings Audrey home. Audrey says she can call someone she knows, but Beth says it's 5AM? What? Where were they? Even if they left the prison at, like, 1AM, after Shepherd died at 12:04, they were 4 hours away from LA? Damn, California, you big.

Audrey gets a call; it's Donovan, saying he can see her. She looks down at the street, and he's there, but a garbage truck goes by, and he's not. And then we get our opener.

Audrey needs Beth to believe her, to believe that she saw Shepherd. Beth gently reminds her that they saw him die, but Audrey is convinced. He said the same words, even: "Hello, sweetheart, I see you." Audrey never told anyone about that, but Beth thinks it's all just PTSD, and she tells Audrey about her abduction. She also says that she just "blocks it out", which sounds super healthy, Beth, good job!

I have to say, I don't know if we're on a new showrunner or director or if they finally found at least one good writer, but this episode so far has had scenes of a normal length, decent dialogue that gives us actual information and characterization, and a premise that makes sense. Mostly. Why Beth is so obsessed with Audrey and why Mick got shot, I have no idea, but I do quite like Audrey!

Beth brings Audrey to Mick's, obviously. Audrey's been getting pretty consistent harassment since the trial fourteen years ago, and Mick is going to look into it, to see if anyone connected to Shepherd is actually stalking her. Audrey takes a call, and Mick probes Beth about being so involved. Beth says that she could have turned into Audrey after her abduction, never feeling any peace, never being able to get on with life. That all...makes sense? WTF is going on, Moonlight?

Mugatu yelling "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

it's opposite day!

Beth takes Audrey home again, and Audrey asks about how she met Mick while they make...dinner, I guess? I don't know what time of day it's supposed to be anymore, but Beth is cutting a tomato in the most dangerous way possible while still using an actual knife. They're drinking wine and Beth spills all her relationship secrets, by which I mean that stuff with Josh is "iffy" because he's out of town. Sounds like a great relationship, Beth.

Beth gets a call and has to go into the office (which seems unlikely, but I'm here in 2021, where we know how useful offices are.), and she leaves Audrey, which seems normal, but obviously I think something's gonna go down.

Mick is looking up Donovan Shepherd, and voiceovers that of course he was a cult leader: "He had the grunge charm of Kurt Cobain and the media savvy of D*nald Tr*mp."

I hate it here

Donovan was big for a while; people said he was "the voice of a generation". And everyone talks about the murdering, but not the who or the why of the murdering, and I'm starting to have questions. I also don't know why people were following him, but apparently someone's so ardent that they've doxxed basically everyone involved in the trial - including Beth, whose address is on the web. And sure enough, Mick rushes over there just as someone's breaking in to attack Audrey.

It's not Donovan, just an acolyte. Mick tries to torture some info out of him, and of course all he gets is the "lead" that one of Shepherd's followers is a big producer, and he's gonna make a movie! Which sounds like a total lie to me, just a stupid Hollywood story that everyone has - "I know a producer, there's gonna be a movie", and nothing ever goes anywhere. You know, like neurotypicality, just saying words to make noise.

But Mick heads...to some rich guy's house, because there's a pretty little SLS-AMG sitting outside when Mick pulls up in his own Mercedes boat, telling us how he thought about acting in the 70s. He's here for Jerry Drake, producer. Bunch of photoshopped pics on the walls - or maybe they're not 'shopped, because this guy is a truly wretched actor, and I'm half-convinced he's a "guest star". Drake has zero info on anything - he bought Shepherd's memoirs, was briefly friends with him in the 80s, that's about it. Mick riffles through the mail on his way out, and leaves with an envelope with Shepherd's return addy on it.

Beth and Audrey go to the DA's office to look through suspect photobooks, and find the actual office ransacked, with what appears to be blood everywhere, and no DA. Audrey is convinced it's Shepherd, for all the obvious reasons. For once, Cop Carl is being nice to Beth. He confesses he thinks the DA's dead, and shows her the "trophy case" the DA had, with evidence from all his big wins in it. Prominently displayed is the knife Donovan used to do the original murders, and it's covered in fresh blood.

Mick has been listening to the tape he stole from Drake's place, and he calls Beth to update her, but of course her update is bigger. She says she's headed to Buzzwire, and Mick meets her there. Mick brings the tapes, on which Donovan talks about coming back from death - "blood is the key". They both think it could be a reference to vampirism, and Mick is off to see if he can prove Donovan died at all.

Bodies of deceased inmates are kept in the prison morgue for ten days - a useful piece of exposition delivered in voiceover by Mick as he checks Donovan's drawer. There is a body in it - the District Attorney. They've got a vamp on their hands.

Mick moves Beth and Audrey into his apartment, obviously, and gets his hunting shit together to take out Shepherd and figure out who turned him. First step is the prison, where he says he's been sent to watch the footage of Donovan at the prison during his last few days. The guard doesn't like it, but also doesn't care to argue, and so Mick watches a priest turn Donovan Shepherd into a vamp.

Beth and Audrey have a boring conversation about not going to therapy while Mick goes to church. The priest was paid - the money that Drake said went to a "survivors' fund" - and tells Mick that he doesn't know where Donovan is, but he really hates Drake, so maybe someone should check on him?

And there he is, that Lestat-looking motherfucker, sitting in Jerry's chair. Poor Jerry. Better hope Mick shows up fast, man. Oh, wait - already too late. Drake's dead.

Beth goes snooping for her file at Mick's place, because yeah, I would, too! Looks pretty thin, though - lots of pics, not much of anything else. But the pics aren't just of her when she was little. Mick's been looking after her this whole time. Which I think we already sort of knew, but this is just such a better illustration of it, and it actually gives Sophia Myles something to DO as Beth, which is nice!

Mick finds Drake and checks in to make sure Beth and Audrey are ok, and they are, mostly because Donovan is still at Drake's place. They vamp fight a little, and Mick drops his phone. Donovan picks it up and for some reason Mick has a contact of himself? With his own address?

Red Forman on a demotivational poster that says "Dumbass"

Donovan tries to get into Mick's apartment, and finally has to come in through the skylight? So clearly not all the regular writers are gone, I'm glad some of them kept their jobs. Beth tries to stake him by telegraphing the move and then he has her caught, but Mick comes in just before he can slit her throat. They vamp fight while Audrey and Beth flee. They get into the elevator and Donovan stops it just before it closes, so instead of opening again, it just stays almost closed so Audrey can have one more flashback before Mick cuts Donovan's head off.

In the coda, Beth confronts Mick about her case, and he's all, "How could I tell you it was me?" but, like - what? Didn't we figure this out in like, one of the first episodes? Did the good writers leave? Did they not have all the information? Did the bad writers do them dirty?

I'm trying, but it's hard!

No wonder she was weirded out by the file! This is why you don't make the viewer assume a bunch of shit, writers: I ASSUMED that they had already had these convos, because it seemed like they would have several episodes ago, based on the terrible writing and the necessity to fill in my own pertinent details. This would have made a lot more sense if these writers had been in charge this whole time - I almost feel like I want the series to start right here, and forget all the other crappy eps! Anyway, they talk about it briefly, and they seem to be on a good footing when the sun comes up and Beth leaves - after giving her "guardian angel" another kiss.

Y'all, I'm so not angry? Not annoyed? Not confused? They had a premise; they followed one clue to the next; everything pointed to a reasonable ending, and that was the one we got! I don't know if someone was sick, or got fired, or got hired, or if someone took a class on how to write a mystery, but damn, I hope this sticks. It almost certainly won't, I'm sure, but I hope it does!

Come back next Thursday and see how we did!